RETIRED PERSON’S PERSPECTIVE ~

(Might make for a “Musings” column someday.)    

1. I’m not saying let’s go kill all the stupid people.  I’m just saying let’s remove all the warning labels and let the problem work itself out.
2. I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds.  People move out of the way much faster now.
3. You can tell a lot about a woman’s mood just by her hands.  If they are holding a gun, she’s probably very unhappy.
4. You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone you’ve just met?  That’s common sense leaving your body.
5. I don’t like making plans for the day. Because then the word “premeditated” gets thrown around in the courtroom.
6. I didn’t make it to the gym today.  That makes 1,500 days in a row.
7. I decided to change calling the bathroom the John and renamed it the Jim.  I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.
8. Dear paranoid people who check behind shower curtains for murderers: If you find one, what’s your plan?
9. Everyone has a right to be stupid.  Politicians just abuse the privilege.
Old age is not as bad as I thought.  It’s a good feeling when you just don’t give a hoot anymore and you feel happy just to wake up in the morning.