(until now, that is)

I used to think I was just a regular person, but…
I was born white, which now, whether I like it or not, makes me a racist.
I am heterosexual, which according to gay folks, now makes me a homophobe.
I am a Christian, which now labels me as an infidel.
I believe in the 2nd Amendment, which now makes me a member of the vast gun lobby.
I think and I reason, therefore I doubt most of what the mainstream media tells me, which must make me a reactionary.
I am proud of my heritage and our inclusive American culture, which makes me a xenophobe.
I value my safety and that of my family and I appreciate the police and the legal system, which makes me a right-wing extremist.
I believe in hard work, fair play, and fair compensation according to each individual’s merits, which today makes me an anti-socialist.
I acquired a fair education without student loans (it’s called work) and had no debt at graduation, which makes me some kind of odd underachiever.
I believe in the defense and protection of the homeland for, and by, U.S. citizens, which now makes me a militant.
     Please help me come to terms with the new me, I‘m really not sure who I am anymore. I’d also like to thank my friends for sticking with me through these abrupt, newfound changes in my life although I can’t understand how all this has happened to me. Funny thing is, all my changes seem to have taken place over just the last 7 or 8 years! And as if all this mess wasn’t enough to deal with, I’m now afraid to go into either restroom!
Vote to put an end to this madness, Make America Great Again !

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *