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INI World Report > Uncategorized > NOT NEW BUT STILL ENTERTAINING ~

NOT NEW BUT STILL ENTERTAINING ~

WHEN INSULTS HAD CLASS

These glorious insults are from an era “before” the English language got boiled down to four-letter words.

 

A member of Parliament to Disraeli:

“Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.”

“That depends, Sir, “ said Disraeli, “whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.”

 

“He had delusions of adequacy .” – Walter Kerr

 

“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” – Winston Churchill

 

“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.”– Clarence Darrow

 

“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.”  – William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

 

“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.”– Moses Hadas

 

“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” –  Mark Twain

 

“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.”– Oscar Wilde

 

“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one.” – George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

“Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second… if there is one.”– Winston Churchill, in response

 

“I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.”– Stephen Bishop

 

“He is a self-made man and worships his creator.”– John Bright

 

“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.” – Irvin S. Cobb

 

“He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.” – Samuel Johnson

 

“He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.” –  Paul Keating

 

“In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.” – Charles, Count Talleyrand

 

“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.” – Forrest Tucker

 

“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?” –  Mark Twain

 

“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.” – Mae West

 

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” – Oscar Wilde

 

“He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts… for support rather than illumination.” – Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

 

“He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.” – Billy Wilder

 

“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But I’m afraid this wasn’t it.”– Groucho Marx

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