> > Ever wonder about those people who spend $5.00 each on those little bottles> > of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards : NAIVE> >> > Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section> > in a swimming pool? (My sentiments exactly!)> >> > OK ….. so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the> > ‘Jags’ and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the ‘Bucs,’ what> > does that make the Tennessee Titans?> >> > If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea does that mean that one person> > enjoys it?> >> > There are three religious truths:> > a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.> > b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.> > c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or Hooters.> >> > If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland> > called Holes?> >> > If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?> >> > Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren’t they just stale bread to> > begin with?> >> > Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives> > a race car is not called a racist?> >> > Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety one?> >> > If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that> > electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models> > deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?> >> > If Fed Ex and U.P.S. were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?> >> > Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?> >> > What hair color do they put on the driver’s licenses of bald men?> >> > I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as> > they get older; then it dawned on me … they’re cramming for their final exam.> >> > I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and> > forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?> >> > Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we> > supposed to do, write to them? Why don’t they just put their pictures on> > the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the> > mail?> >> > If it’s true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?> >> > You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.> >> > Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn’t zigzag?> >> > If a cow laughed, would she spew milk out of her nose?> >> > Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?> >> > At income tax time, did you ever notice: When you put the two words ‘The’> > and ‘IRS’ together it spells ….‘THEIRS’?
