BEST EVER POLITICAL ONE-LINERS

mark-twain-re-congress

If God wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.

~Jay Leno~

The problem with political jokes is they get elected.

Henry Cate, VII~

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.

~Aesop~

If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these State of the Union speeches, there wouldn’t be any inducement to go to heaven.

~Will Rogers~

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.

~Nikita Khrushchev~

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I’m beginning to believe it.

~Clarence Darrow~

Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel.

~John Quinton~

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you.

~Author unknown~

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other.

~Oscar Ameringer~

I offer my opponents a bargain: if they will stop telling lies about us, I will stop telling the truth about them.

~Adlai Stevenson, 1952~

A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.

~ Tex Guinan~

I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.

~Charles de Gaulle~

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.

~Doug Larson~

There ought to be one day — just one — when there is open season on Congressmen.

~Will Rogers~

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