CRAWFORD, TEXAS (The Borowitz Report)—Just hours after the United States Senate voted to reverse key provisions of the Patriot Act, former President George W. Bush said that he regretted that the law had been partially repealed before he ever got a chance to read it.
“At the time when it was being passed and whatnot, people around the White House were saying it was a really good law,” Bush said at his ranch in Crawford, Texas. “I remember saying to myself, ‘I really need to read that.’ ”
Now that the law has been partially reversed, Bush said, “I suppose it’s a little late in the game to start reading it,” but he indicated that he still “might check it out just to see what all the fuss was about.”
“I think they have it down at my Presidential library, so maybe one of these days I’ll set aside some time and read it,” he said, before adding, “Ha ha, who am I kidding? That’s not gonna happen.”